I’m trying so hard to get over you, but it’s hard when I can’t forget the way we used to be. You broke my heart, and I don’t think you even realize what you did. I don’t think you realize how much I actually care about you. I always promised myself that I wouldn’t get so lost in someone, but you came along and changed that. I wish you would have never walked into my life because all you did was walk out. If this is how it’s always going to be with someone, I don’t want any part of it. 

I look weird, but I need everyone to know that this dog is my best friend. I love him so much. 

My sister took a random picture of me today while we were playing with the dogs in the backyard. Everyone thinks I look super cheesy/happy, but the reason why I was laughing… Well…. A huge ant crawled down my pants and tickled my butt crack.

This is personal, but I don’t care. I haven’t masturbated in over three weeks. I think it’s the medication that I’m on now. I was in the mood to do it, then I lost interest halfway through and decided to clean my room instead. This is frustrating.

I just want to fap.

I haven’t had sex in months. I don’t mind it, really. Sex has never been a big deal to me, but I should have fucked you when I had the chance. Everything was right, and it was my idea of perfect. No, no, no. It’s not about that at all. I don’t care about fucking. I want to make love to you. I want you to be the first person that I actually make love to. I want to wake up to you the morning after instead of being treated like I’m nothing. It was always just about sex with other people. I don’t want it to be like that with you. That’s why I held off the last time we were together. I am so in love with you, and I want to do this the right way… The way that I imagined when I was young. I want that innocence back.

Oh, yeah. I’ve lost a little more weight, too.

Here I am! No makeup, frizzy hair, blah. I’m okay, though. Send me messages. I’m gonna make a sandwich because I’m hungry.

I have a hideous chest, but I’m starting to love it a little more everyday.

I’m so bored, you guys. I’m on MorphThing, and I kind of just fell in love with this little cute ass. I used a picture of me and a picture of this guy that I like because I’m a creep. Boredom brings out the creep buried deep inside of you. Seriously, though… Look at this cute ass. Ha, send me asks or something.

I was never a happy person, but a year ago today, I fell into the darkness completely. Through love and support from my dear family and friends, I managed to find my way out. I now have hope, faith, courage and strength. It’s been rough, but I’m here. I am now the happiest that I’ve ever been, and I am so glad to be alive. Today also marks one full year that I’ve been free of self harm. Thank you to those who’ve been the light guiding me out of the darkness. You’re all beautiful. You all have a reason to be here. “However long the night, the dawn will break.”

I fucking miss you. I miss staying up all night watching cheesy horror movies and waking up to our hands tangled together. I miss the way you made me laugh. I miss the way you made me feel. I miss your kisses. I miss your smile. I miss the way your hands felt. I miss walking around the town with you because we had absolutely nothing to do. I miss that feeling of being happy after days of sadness just because I saw you. I miss every detail of you. I miss your positives and negatives. I miss our friendship. I fucking miss you, and you probably haven’t noticed that I’m gone.